I like bikes. I like everything about bikes. I like how something so utilitarian and practical can also be so aesthetically pleasing. I like the sound of the chain and teeth gently meshing on a well-tuned drivetrain. I like the smell of rubber and grease and lycra in a bike shop.
My wife, not so much. She likes bike (singular). One bike is fine, two is pushing it a bit. Anything more than that and the Wife Acceptance Factor starts plummeting like GM stock. I own seven bikes. To my wife, I am Rick Wagoner.
Let me go into detail a bit on how my bike obsession scores low on the WAF scale.
* Storage:
Seven bikes (plus two that are hers) take up a lot of space in the garage especially if they're all just carefully leaning against one another in a cluster so that my wife can barely open the doors on her car.
"No problem," I say to her when she complains she can't get out of her car for the 1,002nd time, "why don't you just donate all those old kitchen appliances and flower vases and junk you never use?"
"Why don't you donate a couple of your bikes?" she snaps.
I clean up the bikes. She keeps all the appliances and vases and junk.
* Aesthetics
I once bought one of those wood wall hangers that you can hang two bikes on.
"Um, what's that bike doing on the wall?"
"Honey, it's not a bike, it's a Colnago. "
"What's it doing inside the house?"
"Yeah, looks good, huh? Man, I think I can just sit here all day and look at...."
Silence.
"Okay, I'll take it down."
* Cost
"How much did you pay for that bike?"
"I got a great deal on ripmeBay. It was $250 shipped."
"For that piece of junk? How much have you put into it?"
"Let's see... new tires, tubes, bar tape, brake pads, cables, bearings, saddle, chain, some NOS parts... Umm... maybe $200?"
"How much can you sell it for?"
"Sell it?? I'm going to ride it!"
* Time
Wife: (In the living room) "Are you in the garage working on that stupid bike again??"
Me: (in the garage, working on the bike) "No."
Here's a different perspective:
ReplyDeleteI love to cruise and was on a 7-day Pacific Northwest Celebrity cruise a couple years back. Typically, I always hit up the stationary bikes in the gym on the sea days, or pay extra for the spin class if it's offered.
An older gentleman on the bike next to me in they gym struck up a conversation and I, of course, gushed on about lugged steel road frames. "What are you riding?" I asked him.
"Well, my wife just bought me a titanium road bike for my birthday," he replied.
"Wow!" I exclaimed, wide-eyed, "That's a really nice gift! You're lucky to have such a supportive wife."
He shrugged, "She said it was cheaper than paying for coronary bypass surgery."